A TRIBUTE TO JOHN L. SOPCHAK:
Reflections on my late brother and best friend
by James Sopchak
Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying "It’s not the years in a man’s life that count; it’s the life in a man’s years." If that’s true, then John Sopchak led a full life, for although cancer, one of the great paradoxes of our earthly existence in that by growing inside and eventually killing its host, it ultimately destroys itself, cut short his physical life chronologically speaking. His was an Orthodox Christian life -- well-lived, and because he lived and believed in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, "…though he were dead, yet shall he live" (John 11:25), as Jesus taught Martha when she was grieving over the death of her brother, Lazarus.
Baptized by Father Philip Pechinsky at Ss. Peter & Paul, South River, John began life in the center of our church and he laid in repose 55 years later during his funeral again at the center of the very same church. John never strayed very far from "the center of the church," exhibiting kindness; integrity; reaching out to help others in need and doing this with enthusiasm and without complaining; regularly praying and attending church services; humbleness; gentleness; patience; optimistic perseverance; and unselfishly sharing of this time and talents while maintaining a low profile, never looking for public acknowledgement.
He knew early on that his life’s journey would include helping others and embracing causes outside of himself. During his formative years John’s role models included our dad, himself a graduate of Saint Vladimir’s Seminary, who took photos of such church events as the 60th Anniversary visit by Metropolitan Leonty and Archbishop Dimitri of blessed memory, and John’s orthodontist, Dr. Edwin Sved, who by bending special wires in specific ways and mounting brackets in precise locations could give a patient with crooked teeth a healthy smile. As a teenager, John shared his musical talents with our Balalaika Orchestra, coordinated by Mrs. Violet Durovich, as one of its two bass players, under the capable direction of Mr. Jack Raymond and Mr. Leonard Davis, son of then-choir-member and coloratura soprano Helen Davis, as well as the lead balalaika in the recording of Lara’s Theme for the soundtrack of a very popular movie of that era, Dr. Zhivago. A few years later, John taught the 8th grade class at Sunday School, considered an honorable position since there were no classes for high school students until later when Olga and Bob Kornafel, our Starosta’s parents, volunteered their time and talents. While attending New Brunswick High School, my brother was active in the Key Club, a junior version of Kiwanis which, among other activities, served the local community via charitable food and clothing drives. As an undergraduate student majoring in Chemistry at Rutgers University, John learned to read and speak fluent Russian. I am told that once on a holy day he recited, from memory, The Hours read before every Divine Liturgy, in Slavonic!
During his time as a dental student, and later, as an Assistant Clinical Professor of Dentistry at both Columbia University’s School of Dental & Oral Surgery as well as the New Jersey Dental School of UMDNJ in Newark, john treaded many difficult cases, including children and adults with oral birth defects, Down’s Syndrome, and helped people who applied to these clinics for care simply because they could not afford to see a solo practitioner. He taught a course in Ethics to aspiring dental students. As Milltown’s home-grown orthodontist for over 16 years, John worked diligently to create a beautiful smile for countless adolescents as well as adults, aided by his able office manager, Dorothy, also known as "our mom."
In the last 8 years of his life, John put a smile on people’s faces in a new way much different from orthodontics: with his digital photography and as webmaster for Ss. Peter & Paul, being a contributing photographer to Milltown’s cable TV public access channel, and running a small business he called Peerless Photography. If there was an event in our church community or in the Milltown community, you could "bet the ranch " that John Sopchak would be there before, during, and after with a camera in hand, and then using his self-taught technical and creative talents, posting the photos with interesting commentary.
When diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in June 2007, John did not adopt a bitter, "why me?" approach to his life-threatening affliction, but instead, realizing that we are all heirs to an imperfect and sinful earthly existence dating back to the time of Adam and Eve, reframing his lingering illness as ample opportunity to spend his remaining weeks and days on earth taking stock of his life and using repentance, prayer, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation, confessing his sins, and receiving holy communion, all in final preparation for "the life of the world to come" in God’s heavenly kingdom in a timeless dimension beyond human comprehension "where all sickness, sorry , and sighing have fled away." John died with a modest smile on his face, and at that moment, I truly believe that his south entered Paradise, and that he was greeted "Well done, thou good and faithful servant!" May his memory be eternal!